Just mADE A PArabola og urine
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
