How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
