i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
