I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
