Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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