did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize