first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
