The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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