so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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