I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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