i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
vagina is talking i cant
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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