she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
