I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
