The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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