Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
