She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
