she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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