i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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