doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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