wanna go halves on a baby?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
