You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
