I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
