I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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