I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
