he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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