i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
