hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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