Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
