no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
