ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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