the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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