Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
