Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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