He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize