Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
