Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
