I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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