Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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