I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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