She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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