My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
