He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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