update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize