Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
