my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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