hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize