For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
