guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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