Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
