i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
