Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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