i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
