i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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