I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
