Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My hand turned me down
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
