You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
