hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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