You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
