i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Someone signed my nipple.
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