I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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