K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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