I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
