I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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