And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
