Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
